And the award goes to. . . .

Having survived my first single girl Christmas since, um, the 90's, I am exhausted. In a very "emotional cutter" kinda way, I listened to sad sad songs on Christmas day and cried all the way to dinner. Oh well. I certainly would win the award for "Most Dramatic Holiday Cry", if that were a category for the Life Awards. Which I think I should start. Maybe monthly, you know, give away awards for the best life moments like "Best Innapropriate Cell Phone Fight In a Public Place"," "Best Car Cry," or my favorite "Best Unfeasible Romantic Fantasy Thought Up While Eating Alone or Sitting in Empty Apartment." Perhaps this will be my new venture.

In actuality, Christmas wasn't that bad, despite the self imposed emotional stupidity. I went to the movies with everyone, including Bird, which was probably a mistake, as it gave me a reason to pretend I had a relationship. Although I am on my self imposed "man fast" I have been cheating when it comes to The Bird. Oh well. That is an entire blog in and of itself. . .

Perhaps I need to be like Julie Powell and blog about 365 Days of something. . living man free, maybe. Right, just what the blogoshere needs another self obsessed single thirty something.

Or perhaps I will do 365 days of talking about other people and doing other things. That would be interesting. I am already more than halfway through my 365 days of continuous sobriety, but I don't find that compelling to write about.

Obviously I need something. I have a desire to rebuild and to create, but I'm not sure what to do. Creating myself, as it were, is just not that interesting. I stand in awe at women my age who can create an entire career based on themselves. How did Candance Bushnell do it? Perhaps it's that I am just not that excited about me. Hmmm. food for thought.

Project Supernana has commenced. By the end of 2010 I will have some idea who I am and what makes me happy. The whole point of this thing was starting over. I have no idea how to do that...