Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Is it a thing?
Not too far back we were discussing the difference between a relationship and dating. I don't think anyone really knows for sure. So I'm back in a space of trying to stay out of relationships and dating, but not quite sure what I'm doing. so my question is- how do you know when it's a thing?
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Your question implies the existence of an "It" already. So It is a thing because you asked. It's the Heisenberg Relationship Principle.
ReplyDeletewell damn. I guess I better un-ask then!
ReplyDeleterelationships and dating are two different animals. You have relationships with lots of people, without dating them. family, business and personal. To tell if it is dating, you have to determine if you are sitting a little closer, holding hands a little tighter, making that goodnight kiss a wee bit warmer, and last longer. after about three of THAT kind of experience, then... just maybe it was/is dating. Of course, if there is a question in your mind, you COULD just ask the other person's opinion. But, that is just my take on this. I could be wrong.
ReplyDeleteIf you want him to kiss you I reckon that's dating. In my book anyway. But then I'm past the dating days -cos I'm taken.
ReplyDeleteDating is just another form of relationship, surely. I'm not quite sure what you mean by 'a thing' but all relationships are dynamic, they depend, for their existence, on at least two entities and they change constantly if those entities are alive (maybe even if they are not). Having been married for nearly twenty five years I can tell you that you can never really rest on your laurels. That's not to say you can't relax and enjoy what you have, but you need to at least be able to entertain the notion that it might not last forever.
ReplyDeleteDating: going out with someone without the discussion of emotion, respect and responsibility for your actions with another person. It's often "just having fun," often with multiple different peop.e
ReplyDeleteRelationship: the emotional tie you have with one other individual that demands respect and responsibility for your actions toward that person.
I'm with TC. For me, it was about my happiness being interdependent with that of the other person. When that happens, it's a relationship.
ReplyDeleteWhen your first waking thought is for the other person... then its a 'thing'.
ReplyDeleteThanks guys!
ReplyDeleteI think I'm going with TC and Madame! That makes a lot of sense! I guess I'm in a thing. I'll update you soon with the status report.
And Jimmy, I had no idea you were so sensitive!
Oh, I missed out on weighing in on what is really an excellent question!
ReplyDeleteOh well. I did enjoy reading what others had to say. For me a "thing" combination of interdependence (the practical) and the "first waking thought" (the passionate).
Nice to make your acquaintance!
Any thoughts are welcome Leah!
ReplyDeleteYes, it sounds like a "thing" then does it? That may actually qualify you as a "thang" too then SuperN. Hot stuff! ;) I want to hear more now that you've piqued our interest.
ReplyDeleteAll in good time Shan.
ReplyDeleteHi, was sent by Savannah.
ReplyDeleteIf neither of you is sleeping with anyone else, and neither of you is thinking about sleeping with anyone else, it's a relationship.
Unless you're into polyamoury.
Then it's a thing. A complicated thing.
Look, what do you expect, I'm from California.
I think TC hit the nail on the head. I couldn't have said it better myself :)
ReplyDeleteFat Sparrow- I'm from Cali too and you know it's worth mentioning the poly thing as I have recently met far too many polyamorous guys out there in the dating pool. I fully support people doing what they want to do, it's just not my cup of tea. They should have signs to identify themselves so I can avoid the awkward third date encounter that ends in me saying "What? Um. . .I gotta go."
ReplyDelete